Response #27

1) To meet people and find potential people, two things stick out to me. First, get your own life in order and be actively involved in living life. A relationship with someone else won't work if you aren't in a place in your own life that will allow you to share/commit/love/sacrifice for someone else. So if habits need to be changed, problems need to be addressed, or whatever, now is the time. I was told "you'll never find your other half until you are a whole person by yourself. Also, along those same lines, don't put life plans on hold because "you might meet someone". Take up a hobby, go back to school, put yourself in a position where you are bettering yourself, because it will be all the more attractive to others if you're doing something with your life (which, I think in general the H-4 members are good at). Plus, it always made me happier when I knew I was making the best of my single years by living them fully. The second thing that sticks out to me is to be true to yourself and your life style when trying to meet people. If you love going to big parties and you're super outgoing, meet people that way. But, if like me, you secretly loathe large social gatherings, look for opportunities to get a few friends together, join a dinner group, invite another apartment over for dinner, games or dessert. I found I got to know people much better in small groups, but that's probably because it's MY personality to thrive in small groups. If you like the outdoors, plan activities that will attract like-minded people. It's not profound, but it's true, I think.

2) The biggest thing I can suggest to have a functional, positive relationship is to communicate. If you can't communicate with the person you're dating, I can't see how it would work out. Some conversations are hard to have, and it feels really vulnerable to be completely honest with someone, but it is also empowering and cements a relationship. Once I knew that [husband] accepted me with ALL my flaws, and I felt confident that we could work through any problem together, I felt much more confident in the relationship. Don't let problems fester, and don't make assumptions about what the other person is thinking. Be kind when bringing up concerns, but don't be afraid to address them. It's a beautiful blessing to have someone with whom you can share anything and everything, with whom you can face the challenges of life and talk through problems. When all barriers are down and there is still acceptance, that scary vulnerability actually feels like a vary safe and comfortable place to be.

Give all my love to the ward! Good luck to you all. When it comes down to it, I think everyone has to stay close to the Lord and find their own path. Just know that all the work and frustration IS worth it in the end. :)