Response #25

Hey Jonny,

I hope all is well. I don't know if this is too late, but I'll mention a few things.

1.) I think the first thing for everyone to realize is that it isn't the same for everyone. Also, and this may be hard to do, but I think people shouldn't try too hard. What I mean by that is, live life to the fullest. Make yourself available and active in doing social things. As you meet members of the opposite sex, ask them to do things with you (this includes girls). I perfect example of this is my wife [xyz] who is usually a very shy person. She decided that she kind of liked me, and so she and her friends would invite me to do stuff. This was good for me, because I have never been good with going on dates...in fact, I hated "dating". There came a point when she was going to move on, but on the day that she was going to give it one last try to see if it was going to go anywhere, I made the move. I know, lucky right? So, understanding that not everyone is the same is important. Dating does not work for everyone. In my case, I had to do the group atmosphere first before moving on to the next step. So to recap what I'm saying; don't freak out that you're not married; be happy and socialize; and take risk, even if you're the girl.

2.) You have to eventually move on from the group thing, as you're dating; but it is important to keep hanging out with your friends at the same time, just not as much. As you begin to find out that you love each other, you have to be open and talk. Communication is key both before and after marriage. This includes things such as what your goals are, what you expect in the home spiritually and temporarily, and finances must be discussed as well (that is a must that most couples avoid for some reason). As you talk about these things, you will find out if you truly have the same goals and desires in life. If your spouse is there to help you be better, both male and female, I think you're headed in the right direction. Finally, you have to talk about marriage. You have to define your relationship. Talking about the "M" word doesn't get easier. Marriage is always a huge risk; but that's what makes it so great! I should say one last thing for a woman. Woman, if the man does not treat his mother or you right, run away. Men, if you don't respect your mothers and the woman around you, repent and change your selfish ways. Again, communication is the number one thing; dating and having fun is the next; and then the willingness to let yourself love someone and take the risk of talking about the M word is the next.

I hope I made sense in all of this. It's hard to summarize my thoughts on this subject. Call me if you want.

Good luck!