Response #1

Johnny,

Without any snide comments regarding the irony of your instructive position, here's the true doctrine (with little organizational thought):

1a) I refer you use the story of Zaccheus from the bible (it's also an effective story for missionary work). As a reminder, he was the short guy and scurried up a tree to see Jesus. In summary, he was in the right place, made himself seen, and subsequently he was extended an invitation. That sums up dating in a nutshell.

1b) To be honest, the "meeting" someone isn't problematic. We meet people everyday. The problem is meeting someone that meets our standards (spiritually, physically, intellectually, etc.) whom also believes that we meet theirs. In dating, people really need to focus on elevating their short/long-term tangible/intangible qualities. Part of the secondary effect of this, is that as you see you're becoming a better person, you gain confidence. And everyone knows that's important.

1c) Do NOT meet people in the temple. Period. End of story.

1d) Ward hoping: Guys: before leaving a ward or declaring it "dry," commit to at least 5 dates - one of which has to be with someone totally out of your league.

1e) Blind dates: People that don't like blind dates have it backwards. Make it your goal to make every blind-date a good experience for the other person. Even if you don't like the other person, there's nothing wrong with making them feel better about themselves and you becoming a better person.

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2a) The most important thing I would say is to not burn bridges. 80%-90% of my meaningful relationships came on the second time around. Engage people honestly to be their friends, and be happy for them when they find happiness elsewhere. Likewise, look at past relationships and how they've ended. If there's a negative pattern, chances are, that pattern is you.

2b) If there is any point in a relationship at which - if it didn't work out - you would look back and regret it, get out.

2c) One of my favorite books is "Blink," and I think it applies perfectly to dating. You should know in 1 month (if not on the first date) whether there is compatability. I'm not suggesting that people should get engaged quickly, but people should trust their instincts and move on them.

2d) Madame Guillotine. 'nuff said.

2e) This one I'm going to be hated for: Despite not having the guts to do it myself, don't turn down a promising date just because you're "in a relationship" with someone else. Getting married is a numbers game, so play the numbers. Just make it clear early in the relationship what your expectation is. But don't go kissing more than 1 at a time - that's just bad form. Remember: Celibacy before marriage - Fidelity IN MARRIAGE (not before). :)

Good luck man,